I must apologize for my tardiness in getting back to this blog but the system wouldn't let me back in to my own blog to add more chapters hence the new title - partII
I had a wonderful couple of days riding my bike and meandering around Martinborough. It is a liberating feeling to have time to just wander and explore. I have fallen madly in love with New Zealand, the pace of life, the people and natural beauty. Of course while push biking around town I bumped into good ole galloping gums, off we went to the pub for a couple of pints. Fortunately Tony had to go to Mass so I was somewhat spared from a prolonged dissertation. As we were sitting outside enjoying the first hint of spring while quaffing a pint, Jancis (Mrs. Potter of Middlearth fame) drove by with Maree, they both waved. The smile on Jancis face said it all - poor bugger's got stuck with galloping gums again.
Back at my flat I gather a few things together to prepare for my Christchurch (South Island) adventure. The Potters have graciously offered to take me to the bus at 7:55 in the morning. My stuff has finally dried, it takes two days to dry here as there are few dryers and plenty of clotheslines. I scarf down a garlic chicken curry stir fry that I cooked on my one burner element. It's raining again, bollocks, to hell with it off I go on my trusty bike, can't hide in my rabbit warren forever! I head down New York Street aiming for JAQ'S pub home of the biggest screen to watch the game. It's a big night, the All Blacks, the national rugby team that is the pride of N.Z. are tangling with the Wallabies (Austrailia) it promises to be a good game. The match is treated with same reverence as we reserve for our beloved hockey hero's.
I feel a bit out of sorts when I arrive at JAQ'S, the blokes all look at me with the "where the hell did he come from on a bloody bike?" I belly up to the bar and order a pint of Tui's then wander into a cavernous room framed by two large couches. I plant myself on one and sip my beer as the Tri-Nations Rugby match starts. The game begins with the Haka, a Maori war dance that the All Blacks do to intimidate their opponents (no the All Blacks are not all black guys). Suddenly two Maori rugby fullbacks book end me on the couch. They are built like brick shit houses and have no necks, or at least none that are obvious to the casual observer. A pint of beer looks small in their meaty clutch and doesn't last long as soon find out. My new mates are Shaun and Wooly (Willy) they spend a good part of the game explaining what is going on. Each time the home team scores they jump up and hug each other catching me in the middle, crushed between these two gentle giants. I get into the spirit and spirits the game ends with the good guys winning keeping the N.Z. reputation intact.
My new mates insist on having a few beers, a glance out the window at the pouring rain and I am in, cheers mates. Willy gives me the low down on every woman who walks by on the way to the ladies loo.
"That one there's the butcha in C watch out she likes raw meat" He leans over elbowing me in the ribs. On one of several trips to the bar I spot a bottle of 12 yr old single malt scotch on the bar. After explaining to the pretty young barmaid what "neat" means to a scotch drinker I saunter back to my seat with the lads. Shaun decides he might like to try a shot so I fetch him one and leave my charge card at the bar to start a tab. I hand Shaun the drink which he knocks back like a shooter. The warm buzz from the whiskey gives him a jolt and of course now Woll wants to try one. Off I go to fetch hither some more of natures nectar. When I get back another Maori brick wall named Charley has joined us. They have been tossing back Jagermeister, red bull and beer all mixed in one drink. The Karaoke grinds on behind us sounding a little less offensive, the scotch is having it desired effect and I share the grin that my new Maori friends have pasted on their faces. Life is good no worries here mate. The boys keep downing their horrid concoctions I am stunned at their ability to drink. At one point they are so knackered that they down my scotch by mistake, Sherry the manager graciously replaces the liquid gold with two drams courtesy of the house. After several bleary eyed toasts and too many beers I bid adieu to my new mates with a Maori forehead bunt (not recommended) and the promise to return for a Hakka lesson in the near future.
I manage to find my way to the door only to have Sam, a local farm manager insist that I have another drink. At 6'6" I am not about to argue with this giant of a man. His wife winces as he reels on his feet and passes wind that has the same effect as a WW1 mustard gas attack. He then turns to me and accuses me of passing wind. His wife punches him in the shoulder and Sam smiles down at me with a devilish Kiwi look and asks "what're ya drinkin mate?" He sways on his feet I am not sure which one of the two of me that he is addressing.
"Water" I manage to mumble while pushing the door open to allow some air in and mitigate the stench .
"Naw, yah gotta have a beer mate c'mon" He goads me.
"No thanks just water" I mumble in reply knowing that another drink would put me into the black hole of alcohol excess and bed ridden for two days. Sam relents after another pounding from his wife and wobbles over to return with a glass of water shooting me a look of pity. I am already dreading my a.m. bus and train ride to Welly in just over four hours. Sam wants to know about moose to make his point he holds his thumbs to the side of his head like a pair of antlers and bellows "mooooooosssse" at me. We have a conversation or as close to a conversation as you can have when two drunks encounter each other in the wee hours of the morning. I manage to extricate myself from the crew after an invite to visit their farm and go pig hunting when I return from the South Island.
I leave the bar and weave home on my bike the rain has stopped and the air feels great. The town is quiet and at peace, the smart folks went to bed hours ago. I flop into my own bed sliding between the starched white sheets and pass out. As I drift off I wonder what the farm will be like hmmmmm zzzzzzzzzzzz!
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